Still struggling, but getting my foam more silky. Part of the challenge is that, in an attempt to save milk and coffee, I’m doing these practice lattes in 10-ounce cups. But steaming 10 ounces of milk seems tougher than steaming 16 or 20 ounces, since the more milk there is, the longer it takes (and the more prolonged the process is). I’ve made quite a few good-looking (but far from perfect) rosettas and hearts for customers in their paper cups — haven’t gotten pictures of most of them — the smaller ceramics, though, are still challenging. I’ve got an appointment for a refresher course from E.J. at Bongo Java Roasting in Nashville, who’s like a batting coach for baristas. In the meantime, here’s where I’m getting in the past couple days.

These are bad bubbles. The foam is all porous and it makes everything blend together way too much. Which is why whatever design is there is pretty tough to see.

Probably one of my best in the ceramics. I’m still veering off to one side — note the “lean” to the right — and the foam’s still not quite right, but this one looks tasty and semi-elegant.

This one looks less like a flower and more like a fire. If it was more contrasty, it’d be a good one to use for the occasional biker with a taste for dessert coffees.

Almost… almost! Nope, FAIL. Do you know why? After all my blathering about this in the past couple weeks, you should! Here. I’ll give you a minute to guess. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Give up? I ran out of foam, that’s what! The pour was going spectacularly, but my drawing foam runneth low, and so my last few wiggles near the top don’t look like much. But it’s close, VERY close. If only I could get the right amount of microfoam, without overstretching it, and then pour it well.

Still struggling with the texture of milk. Form getting better. Don’t know what else to say.

Notice how the forms are bigger around the edges with some contrasty leaves. This is good. But note how light the “dark” areas are, and how many bubbles you can see in even this poor picture. This is bad.

The foam was somewhat better in this one; unfortunately, there wasn’t enough of it. I think this is one of my problems: When I get “enough” foam, I stretch it out too much. When I stretch correctly, I don’t get enough. Which tells me something’s wrong on the back end of my steaming.

I quite liked this happy accident. Foam is better but still not quite right — and I have no real explanation for the interesting imbalance.

Now this one I was happy about, and here’s why. This is a large caramel mocha in a 20 oz. paper cup. Which means a different amount of espresso, of milk, and addition of caramel sauce. The milk and espresso have more time to “mix” on their way down (I think), so I didn’t expect much. But look! It’s all there: The big round “border” leaves, the smaller and more detailed inner leaves… I served this happily, knowing it wasn’t the best looking this in the world, but pretty good for such a rank amateur.

When’s the last time you were humbled — humiliated — in a way that could only be blamed on, well, you?

On Friday, I seemed to have lost whatever foam-flinging talents I’d acquired in the days past. Turning to my employee Sara, who’s actually making decent latte art on a daily basis, I asked if she could see any obvious flaws. Was I angling the cup wrong? Was my wrist action off?

No, she said. But your foam really sucks.

About that time, we got busy; once the busy-ness was over, I had to get my kids and speed off to the grandparents’. So Friday was humiliating, Saturday wasn’t a day at all (not for the latte blog purposes, anyway), and today… well, let’s just say my attempts to get the milk right were frustrating, to say the least.

Honestly, I don’t have any words to describe it. Humiliation, that’s really it. But I’m holding myself accountable to keep this going, and to expose my frailness within the walls of this blog. So here are the obligatory “best takes” from the past few days.

Small. Puny. Pathetic.

This one has some form, but no foam. No white microfoam, anyway.

The only one from today, this proves it CAN be done. The foam on this one is just right, it just didn’t go where I wanted it to… not outward enough, I guess. I’d happily serve this to a customer, if only I could do it consistently. But “consistent” isn’t in my vocabulary just yet.

As usual, the best moments often go undocumented.

There’s a British guy who comes in from time to time for a latte. He doesn’t add cream or sugar, and I have the feeling he’s used to having good coffee. Anyway, today he ordered one, and since he was sitting for a while, I offered to make it in the ceramic mug (same one I’ve been posting pics of). My first shot of espresso pulled way too fast, so I cut it off, dumped it and started over. The second one pulled WAY slow, but I’d already started steaming the milk! Once I got my perfect foam and the perfect temperature, I quickly pulled another shot, waiting through the painful 25 seconds of brew time by swirling the perfect milk around and around in the pitcher, hoping it wouldn’t lose its wonder.

Shots done, I put to action the moves I’ve been practicing (and documenting) this week… and what happened? SUCCESS! Now, this was a single-shot latte — I’ve been practicing with doubles — which meant a little less coffee and a little more milk. The whole thing came out a bit light, but the form and flow and thickness were fabulous — DEFINITELY the best Rosetta I’ve made so far. The rub is that it had taken me so long to make it — about two full minutes, perhaps — that I didn’t even think to take a picture of it.

Oh well.

There were other good ones today, though none as good as the one that got away. But here are the highlights… and the lowlight, which I’ll offer up first.

I call this one “Depresso,” as the attempted Rosetta came out looking more like the skeletal remains of a leaf after sitting in tepid muck through a scorching, humid summer in the Deep South. I’m pretty sure that when you die, if you go to The Bad Place (and dear reader, I hope you don’t!), you see this on the way there.

This one was pretty good, definitely better than most of my attempts thus far. The leaves are starting to look more consistent and more graceful; problem is, my drawing milk ran out too soon, so the forms sort of faded as I got near the top. (Have I mentioned that pouring this drink, one starts at the “bottom” of the flower pattern, wiggles his way to the top, and then drags back down to form the stem? I really should’ve explained this already.)

Definitely the best I’ve been able to document, and possibly better than The One That Got Away (although absence of evidence makes the heart grow fonder). Stopped just a tad bit short of the top, and those leaves should really be bigger down near the bottom. But hey, for Day 5 of a journey that will likely last years, it’s not too shabby.

Someone asked me if I’m drinking all these practice attempts. No: In fact, I really prefer espresso straight to a latte. But that’s just me. Anyway, aside from my first day of intense practice, I’ve done no more than 5 of these double lattes per day. I’ve gotten a little extra practice when customers order theirs, but since most want them in paper cups — and since my practice so far is consistently staying in 10 ounce widemouth ceramics — I’ve felt no need to document these. There’ve been a few nice ones, and I’ve thrown in a heart or two for a change of pace. But my obsession right now is the Grand Rosetta, and I won’t rest until I’ve nailed it.

I only made about five serious attempts today, and all but one came out rosetta-ish… no perfect ones yet, but I’d have been proud to serve these.

Again, here’s the reference point of what I really want to be able to do someday:

And here are mine from today, with a bit of explanation.

This is Little Rosy. I didn’t end up with much “drawing milk,” and since the liquid milk simply flows to the bottom, the leaves on this one couldn’t grow any larger. It’s a little off-kilter, and the “stem” is sort of wavy. But I’d drink it, wouldn’t you?

This guy’s bloom got lost somewhere. Also, similar problems to the last: Not much microfoam, so not much white wonder on top.

This one shows what happens when the pouring motion isn’t consistent near the end: You get some bold white strokes — a particularly heavy one at top right — along with some wispy tan strokes that sort of vanish (most of the leaves).

And here’s my best yet: It’s a real rosetta! I pulled out too soon, which means the top of the design is sort of vacant, but this has all the marks of a decent rosetta: Defined, well-rounded leaves with pointy tips; swirling white “border” leaves on the outside; and even a little bloom at the top! Needless to say, I was pleased.

Yesterday, I posted a picture of a fantastic rosetta pour, along with a couple shots of my own attempts. Below, I’m going to show you a couple I poured today, a pair of lattes that are almost there. But first, I should probably explain why in the world any of this matters. Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s the ideal:

And then, here are my two best, after probably 30 or 40 tries:

One of these days, my friends, I will be able to pour noteworthy latte art. Maybe I won’t be the World Barista Champion. But I’ll definitely win the Southcentral Kentucky regionals.

This is a test of the emergency broadcast system.

Say what you want about graying conservative icon/irritant/pundit Pat Buchanan — about his going overboard on the ills of immigration (both legal and illegal), his shameless recycling of a great many GOP talking points against Barack Hussein Obama, his hideous fashion sense (ever watch “Morning Joe”?) — but give him credit for being just about the only high-profile conservative, aside from Ron Paul, to discredit the “they hate us for our freedoms” rhetoric. Exhibit A is his latest syndicated column:

Read the rest of this entry »

Because here’s a new blog post. Ha!

(Seriously, at some point in the near future, I’m going to have something to say again. I think.)