Other bands we know, whose music I’d argue is really no better than ours, nevertheless find the results they’re (and we’re) after because they put the work in beforehand to achieve them. That is, they practice a lot together and on their own, and they tour enough to keep fresh in peoples’ hearts & heads.

I think our current results are simply reflective of our current work, and it’s we’d be dumb to expect otherwise if we’re not willing to put the work in beforehand.

While it’s certain we can’t increase so much the frequency of our performances, I think we can at least approach each outing as what it truly is: that is, a rare event to be handled with care and sincerity, putting the time in to make it come out great, barring the bad luck gods’ acts of terror.

I’d like to seriously ask the guys in shipping news/rachel’s or other bands we love that play so seldom – but when they play it’s sure to be an event – just how they go about producing as good (sometimes even better, say in Shellac’s or Battle’s case) a product on stage as on their records. In the meantime, I’d say we need to start putting into action the things we talk about regarding our live shows, starting work on it months ahead of time, rather than waiting to the last moment, signing it off as too much work, and thus letting the good ideas ferment for months or years in continual, non-effective talk, because if we’re going to go out on the road but once a year for a very short stint, and then produce only half-inspiring work on the stage, then I’d say we’re doing a disservice to everyone: to God, to the fans, and to ourselves.

I don’t want for this to sound like, “WE’VE GOTTA DO MORE!” and thus put more pressure on your already highly-pressured head, but I do want to impress upon you, myself, and the other dudes in f-hole that if we’re not willing to make every precious outing an event, thus demanding the respect and appreciation the work deserves, then I suspect we should be “satisfied” with the meagre results we already achieve (by grace, I often think), and while I won’t go so far to say, “It’s just not worth it,” I will say its inherent worth is deeply hampered.

Could you maybe explain your first note to me in a personal email? It’s really vague and full of strange phrases, and I honestly can’t remember what I would’ve written that would’ve been so personal and deletable.

I’ll see if I can get my brother to mail you that game, though I honestly think there is other, more productive “practice” you could be putting your time and love into.

Sorry to sound like such a party-pooper. It’s all spoken out of an intention to love more and the hope of us being humbly accountable to one another.

As for me, it doesn’t boil down to results. Rather, it’s always about the experience, which indeed is often sour, but all the same an experience worth having, because amidst the sour there’s a good deal of sweet as well. Getting those hours on the road with you guys is an experience I long for, really, and one we’re not able to afford anymore in these stressful times. I’d say the time we’re on the tour is the time I see you the most happy-go-lucky and easy-going, and is always a boon to our friendship.

Furthermore, the experience for me is about obedience. I’ve never felt “not called” to do foxhole. And while the results aren’t ever as satisfying as we hope for, I’m not necessarily looking for satisfaction in the experience, but rather in the service – that is, the service of God, of other people, and of you, my friends.

As we get older and more responsible, we take on more responsibilities. Sometimes it gets to be too much for us, and it pains me to hear of how stressed out you and other friends always are. I don’t think this is how it should be. Granted, jobs are stressful, kids are stressful, marriages are stressful, and even bands are stressful, if you’re trying to do something more than just “have fun with it.” But all these things also have their blessings and great joy is included in each, and if we’re not too focused on how stressed we are, I think we can better enjoy the composition of our lives, even if our lives aren’t ever quite so satisfying as we’d like. Then again, it is good to take things slowly every now and then.

I promise to do some babysitting for you when I get back (once the little dude is comfortable with me), so you can take your wife out and romance her a bit. You need to make a habit of that. Not all of us have the privilege & responsibility.

“one for sorrow, two for joy”

peace